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Songs from Crystal Lake

by Constant Reader

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1.
Part I [when i rise] 03:31
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Mama can you see me? Can you see me now? My soul is flying but my body's gonna drown Under the weight of what we will do out of love I swear one day, I'll rise above I will rise, I will rise, like a crow into the skies Like the black smoke of a campfire I will rise When the surface tension breaks, you will pay for your mistakes Everyone here dies when I rise Mother can you hear me? I'm not with you anymore I'm underwater, I am simple, I am pure I am afraid, I will reach out and I will fall God looks away, all you hear is kill them all I will rise, I will rise, like a crow into the skies Like the black smoke of a campfire I will rise When the surface tension breaks, you will pay for your mistakes Everyone here dies when I rise
2.
Part II [lucky thirteen] 04:40
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Been pretty quiet here in these woods Keep to myself when I can Look to your face in the sacred place Know we'll be together again Artifacts from when you were here Reminders that you're gone People come around every now and then Still feel all alone Today's my birthday, twice over now Though I remain unseen Today's my birthday, I've been born again Lucky thirteen Mama, would you be proud of me? This place is such a mess Been living like a feral animal Here come uninvited guests I saw them when they took you away But nothing is truer than blood Let the cool air fill my empty lungs Tonight we'll be washed in the flood
3.
Part III [mask on] 02:47
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Look at me, now look away You're young and beautiful, I'm freakish and afraid Maybe I'm lovely on the inside where it counts I'll let your insides out in varying amounts There's work to be done and I am equal to the task I'll remember everyone when I put on the mask Come to me, now run away You're wild and full of life, I'm hidden and ashamed Put on the mask, my truest face Full moon cries tears of blood, like Mary, Full of Grace There's work to be done and I am equal to the task I won't forget anyone now I've put on the mask I've been reborn, yeah I have been made new The face you see before you so beautiful and true There's work to be done and I am equal to the task I won't forget anyone now I've put on the mask There's work to be done and I am equal to the task I'll remember everyone now I've put on the mask I'll remember everyone now I've put on the mask
4.
Part IV [like a mirror] 03:54
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I've been feeling restless, wake up where I don't know Reach for the familiar, know just where I must go The teenage invasion comes around every year Not sure what to do with these newcomers setting up house around here Say goodbye to this teenage angst, it's not welcome at all Like a mirror this young boy's face, I will see when I fall The neighbors are restless, a mother and her son It all feels so familiar, where did they come from? I know where I'll send them, I woke up in that place The cold, steel slab reflecting my own distorted face Say goodbye to this teenage angst, it's not welcome at all Like a mirror this young boy's face, I will see when I fall Hear a voice and I look to the stairs Calling my name, my younger self stands there Say goodbye to this quiet lake, I'm not welcome no more From my home back to the place where they sent me before Say goodbye to this teenage angst, it's not welcome at all Like a mirror this young boy's face, I will see when I fall
5.
Part V [the imposter] 03:01
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The mystery repeats itself now that I'm long gone Rumors are that I've returned, the mask all painted wrong Don't worry Tommy, don't feel blue All in good time, I'll be back for you Until then, someone new is filling in You're dreaming of me and running from him Imposter, imposter, an imitation monster Has stepped in to take my place Imposter, imposter, a carbon-copy monster Tears of blue run down his face History repeats itself, a dead beloved son Vengeance of a parent wielded like a loaded gun Swore an oath, First Do No Harm Beware ambulance alarms A broken man kills broken teens Hallucinations in quarantine Imposter, imposter, an imitation monster Has stepped in to take my place Imposter, imposter, a carbon-copy monster Tears of blue run down his face I don't know how I remember All these unfamiliar scenes From deep down in the graveyard Like a saw it in a dream
6.
Part VI [up from the grave] 03:36
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Collect all the data, calculate the odds Of being struck by lightning or resurrected by the gods Took the skeletons in your closet to dig up my old bones Maybe that'll teach you to leave well enough alone And so I rise up, I rise up from the grave And so I rise up from the grave I've been underground for years, that's probably for the best But you had to go dig up the past, now tell me who's obsessed People say you're crazy, tell me now how does it feel? The blood is warm, the lake is cold, and nothing else is real And so I rise up, I rise up from the grave And so I rise up from the grave Heaven wouldn't take me, I'm my mother's only son Hell just wasn't ready yet, I've only just begun And so I rise up, I rise up from the grave And so I rise up from the grave
7.
Part VII [more than yr chains] 04:54
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Innocent, still your father held you down But force will soon be met with force Use your mind to move objects around There will be no divorce There are some comfortable under the thumb Sometimes you gotta break more than yr chains You have to fight when nothing else feels right Sometimes you gotta leave the place in flames Ill intent, feel an anchor weigh me down But you lift me up from the mud My captors better go to ground Afraid to say there will be blood There are some comfortable under the thumb Sometimes you gotta break more than yr chains You have to fight when nothing else feels right Sometimes you gotta leave the place in flames There was no healing, it was healing you were seeking Seeking something out of reach Ghosts come back to fight within your sightline No winners, no justice, and no peace There are some comfortable under the thumb Sometimes you gotta break more than yr chains You have to fight when nothing else feels right Sometimes you gotta leave the place in flames
8.
Part VIII [a worm in the big apple] 04:24
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What if I left my home for the first time? What if the stars didn't shine? What if we drown in the bright lights? What if God sent me a sign? What if an anchor lifted me higher? What if I rose up to the top? What if I went far across the water? What if the boat just didn't stop? We all dream of New York, but it's so far away I know I don't belong, but I'll make it there someday Start spreading the news, I am leaving today A worm in the Big Apple, coming up from Off-Broadway What if the lake turned into the ocean? What if I finally came up for air? What if the skyline hid the horizon? What if we never ever got there? What if the city never went to sleep? What if the nightmares still came? What if it all looked so different? What if it all still felt the same? We all dream of New York, but it's so far away I know I don't belong, but I'll make it there someday Start spreading the news, I am leaving today A worm in the Big Apple, coming up from Off-Broadway
9.
Part IX [see you in hell] 03:11
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The sky is deep blue, the lake's murky and green And I disappear into the shadows like a thylacine Greywater and night soil down in the lake I will be free, but how much longer will it take? I am a worm I don't belong in heavenly places I'm for the dirt and mud The subterranean spaces I know all that you've done How can I wish you well? But I know where I'm bound I'll see you in Hell The blood is deep red, the tension painfully clear I will rise up to meet your end, then I'll disappear You may outsmart me now, we'll see who outlives who I belong underground just like the other worms do I am a worm I don't belong in heavenly places I'm for the dirt and mud The subterranean spaces I know all that you've done How can I wish you well? But I know where I'm bound I'll see you in Hell
10.
Part X [a shooting star] 03:51
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I wake up all alone I wake a thousand miles from home I wake up alone A stranger, a strange one Like nothing I have ever known I wake up alone I'll freeze you in your tracks and break you I will not play your little games I see you're calling yourself Grendel Soon you will all know my name You kill me, I return It may take a thousand years You may destroy my body I'll still embody all your fears I wake up once again It feels like something new has grown I wake up alone A swarm of mosquitos Like blood cells turning me to stone I wake up alone To kill the snake, I'll take the head out I'll suck the air out of the room Dig up my past it won't stay buried I'll set you down inside that tomb You kill me, I return It may take a thousand years You may destroy my body I'll still embody all your fears And in the end, a new beginning I know the lake's never too far I will sink straight down to the bottom I will become a shooting star
11.
Part XI [a nightmare] 03:47
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Mama talked to me again, she woke me from a dream The moonlight on the lake, like my machete's gleam Wake up and remember what I was made for Remind the people out there why they lock their doors Can a nightmare have a nightmare? Can a nightmare have a nightmare? Can a nightmare have a nightmare? There's a nightmare after me They won't even say your name out loud, they're so afraid You point your fingers at me, you will know my lonely blade Take me to your nightmare way down in the boiler room I will bury you inside the murky algae bloom Can a nightmare have a nightmare? Can a nightmare have a nightmare? Can a nightmare have a nightmare? There's a nightmare after me I know you died by fire, and water brought me down Maybe we're both elemental, but anyone can drown Take me home to the lake, take me where I belong Below the surface where we'll never be alone
12.
Part XII [just the end] 05:41
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Let us start at the beginning Play through all our greatest hits There is nothing that is promised Anyone could call it quits Any time that they wanted There'd be nothing I could do Any time could be the last time So always play it through Everything's dull down here in the darkness Always stay sharp Found an old locket, and I already lock it As tight as a well-tuned harp It's been so many years now Maybe nothing's fully new There's always change along the way There is nothing else so true I will always find you From above and from below I will get the last surprise in Right before the credits roll Everything's dull down here in the darkness Always stay sharp Found an old locket, and I already lock it As tight as a well-tuned harp This is just the end This is just the end, for now, for now

about

I started writing this album near the beginning of the Covid pandemic of 2020. It ended up being shelved for a while and then completed in recent months. This started as an experiment, giving myself 12 relatively straightforward songwriting prompts by exploring each of the 12 films in the Friday the 13th franchise. Could I write songs about each film that were filled with clear references while also not being glaringly obvious? Could I write songs that would still resonate with people who were not familiar with these films?
The result is 12 songs of love, hate, fear, and triumph. These are songs that explore loneliness, isolation, complicated family dynamics, persecution, self-discovery, protest, divorce, and mental health.
During the time that this album was written and recorded, like many other people, I experienced poor health, the deaths of too many loved ones, an autism diagnosis, and the long and painful end of a life-long relationship. I think more of that made it into these songs than I anticipated or intended.
But they've absolutely helped me get through some hard times, and I hope they will do the same for others.

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released October 13, 2023

all words and sounds by Anthony Bowman

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Constant Reader Clarksville, Indiana

Constant Reader makes sad goth folk music in Midwestern bedrooms.

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